Please bear with it, as this is my longest thread yetâ€¦ As does any true foodie, I have a real passion for good baloney. Bologna or baloney are both perfectly acceptable names to call this oft-neglected favourite amongst sandwich meats. Whether bologna or baloney, I call it fuckin delicious. Bologna-making at home is an endeavour rife with pitfalls, but once one begins to get the hang of it, it can also prove to be both a rewarding as well as a somewhat cost-effective gastronomic experience. I googled Bologna and discovered that Bologna was first made by the Etrusans in 534 BC, but then it was called Felsini. Nowadays Oscar Mayer is the worldâ€™s largest and most endeared baloney maker, while Schneiderâ€™s is surely the worldâ€™s most hated bologna maker. As illustrated by the chart below, by going the homemade route you can get yourself a quality baloney without breaking the bank. My home baloney ranks at the lower third mark among prominent brands in terms of price (or in my case the cost of ingredients), and I would place it at around the mid-point in terms of taste (so long as you have no qualms with an eggy smell/taste and a significant amount of grainy sediment in your bologna). Most importantly for me is the look on peopleâ€™s faces when I let them know that the baloney that they are eating was made by me; that is absolutely fuckin priceless. Here are the figures: Pusateriâ€™s Bologna-$12.34 per 100g Dietz & Watson Beef Bologna-$2.44 per 100g Lyoner Bologna-$2.36 per 100g Shopsyâ€™s Deli Style Beef Baloney-$2.31 per 100g Schneiders â€œBlue Ribbonâ€ Bologna-$2.29 per 100g (my homemade baloney- $2.27 per 100g) Oscar Mayer Beef Baloney-$2.14 per 100g Hello Brand Beef Baloney-$0.97 per 100g I should point out that I am fortunate enough to have fostered a fairly intense relationship with my local Butcher (as in we have gone for a beer together after one of his shifts) so you may not have as good a line on well-priced ground beef and butcherâ€™s twine as me, which may add to your overall cost, but I still believe that the figures speak for themselves. --- Recipe: Health nuts will insist that preservatives and proper sterilization equipment are essential, but in reality to make this good-valued bologna at home all you will need is: 15 lbs ground beef 2/3 cup Morton Tender Quick salt 1/2 quart vegetable oil 7 1/2 teaspoons black pepper (1/2 t per lb.) 7 1/2 teaspoons garlic salt (1/2 t per lb.) 8 teaspoons Pike Place Mussel Boil Seasoning 1/2 teaspoons liquid smoke 1 cup brown sugar 2 cups of Macaroni letters* 1 Football cut along the seam lengthwise to serve as the baloney mold** And to make it you need to: 1. Mix all ingredients except liquid smoke and oil together. 2. Let stand in refrigerator overnight. 3. Next day, mix liquid smoke and oil together before adding to mixture. 4. Mix everything thoroughly. 5. Pack tightly into the football, leaving 1/2 inch space at the seam. 6. Bake the now-filled football, uncovered, (upright) at 200 degrees for 4 hours. 7. Then immerse the football in boiling beef stock for 45 minutes (careful!). 8. Drain; cool and wrap in many layers of freezer paper. 9. Freeze and let thaw and enjoy within two days * For the macaroni letters, rather than trying to find a store that sells pasta letters, I find that it is easier to simply drain 6 cans of Alphagetti. ** For the mold, I used an old Raghib â€œRocketâ€ Ismail autographed official CFL football that had lost its sentimental value for me. I got the idea of using a football as my trademark insult to Hamilton Ticat players at Argo games is to call them a â€œbunch of baloneysâ€ - before I was banned from Skydome, there was a time that I saw Ticat QB Danny McMammus outside of gate 9 in his street-clothes and I yelled at him â€œDanny you are a baloney!â€ and you could tell by the look on his face that he knew I burned him. --- A heaping plate of warm baloney with a glass of chocolate milk on the side can be quite soothing when life deals you one of its many blows. It definitely came in handy the day that Muadâ€™ib posted that he was disappointed by my threads (once again sorry Muadâ€™ib, I still feel awful about not meeting your standards and have still not slept a full night since your harsh, yet accurate words were written). In fact I had two portions that sad day. Having painting such a rosy picture of bologna making, I would be remiss if I did not warn of some of the inherent dangers associated with household bologna production. Dangers that can be best illustrated through my first hand account of a terrible (baloney related) incident that continues to haunt meâ€¦ Shortly after eating a man-sized portion of my homemade bologna one night, I developed difficulty swallowing, dry mouth, and muscle weakness. Soon thereafter, when the slurred speech, blurred vision and drooping eyelids kicked in, it became apparent that this was not something that a couple of Tums could fix. So I did the smart thing and visited the local walk-in clinic first thing the next morning when my leg stopped working. As it turns out, I had acute botulism and almost didnâ€™t make it. It was caused by intake of vast quantities of rancid meat (I donâ€™t like preservatives), and some irreversible damage was done to my innards, but thankfully I am largely back to normal now. However, in terms of cost, that stupid batch of bologna did not save me money, it actually cost me at least $1200 once you take into account the missed days of work, expense of crutches, cost of new sheets/jeans, paper towels, pharmacy bills etc. I certainly learned my lesson, and now have learned to recognise the onset of botulism at a much earlier stage. I plan to make a particularly large batch of festive fancy baloney to mark/celebrate the one-year anniversary of the incident this autumn. I now utilize shellacked leftover baloney for crafts so as to minimise the temptation to eat it after it has gone bad. My initial hope was that by making my own bologna I would entice my friends to visit more often, which hasnâ€™t been the case and saddens me. But notwithstanding the neuroparalytic illnesses, I would nonetheless chalk up my baloney making escapades as an overall (relative) success. I really donâ€™t have much. So Bon Appetit yo! And please post any baloney related recipes (my recipes with pics shall follow in short order). Thanks, Nawbaloney (hardy har har).