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has anyone ever actually had a good breakup?

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by deep, Mar 21, 2002.

  1. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    I was thinking about this just now...obviously there is going to be some mix of good and bad, but has anyone out there on the whole felt better than worse at the end of a relationship?

    (relationship can end for any reason)
     
  2. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    I guess the obvious question is why would the relationship end if it was something positive and losing something positive is never easy...or is it in some instances?
     
  3. Mr_Furious

    Mr_Furious TRIBE Member

    I don't think so.....

    I think someone always gets hurt.....

    unless its a mutual thing,...but that only happens in the movies
     
  4. PosTMOd

    PosTMOd Well-Known TRIBEr

    I've had one good breakup...

    The others were never good at first, but I am friends with all of them now... of course, some I haven't talked to or seen in years, but...
     
  5. cdp

    cdp TRIBE Member

    They're all bad. At least I've never been through a breakup that's been "good" in any way I can think of.

    Yuck.

    charles
     
  6. TaCk OnE?

    TaCk OnE? TRIBE Member

    yah, I've had a "good" break up, so to speak.

    it wasn't, however, a very serious relationship so it wasn't all that detrimental...I suppose that's the key element.

    if you're still emotionally attached to the person, seperating from them for whatever reason isn't going to fall into the "good" classification.
     
  7. aether

    aether TRIBE Member

    I'd say I have. there was nothing technically wrong with the relationship, the passion had just faded. we both felt it. usually your problems occur when one person is still into the relationship and the other isn't. and then it's tricky.. i'd say impossible to end without heartache. even the best breakups are still 'difficult'.. you'll always second-guess yourself, and wonder if the motivations weren't personal deficiencies on one of your parts.

    even after more difficult breakups, i've managed to stay friends with my exes, although it's required more time apart. sometimes referring to your 'ex' as 'fuckhead' really helps the healing process :)
     
  8. nusty

    nusty TRIBE Member

    I had a clean brake up a while ago after 7 months of seeing this one girl. Things really weren't going that well for the last month or so of the relationship, but we were both to stubern to give up on it. After we talked our situtation over we had a mutal break up. It sucked for 10 minutes then I went out for pizza with her and a bunch of other friends and had a better time with her than I had in a very long time. We just worked better as friends and she and I both knew it. We had a lot of mutal friends, so it's not just like I'm assumming this was her reaction, she told a bunch of people that she honestly felt this way. We still talk and hang out whenever we're in the same geographinc region.
     
  9. joey

    joey TRIBE Member

    i've had a few good breaks ups...

    the best "mutual" breakup i had ended up sucking because we still lived together for 4 months after..

    im pretty picky about relationships though, i have to be pretty damn sure before i get into something...
    in everycase so far we still had feelings for each other, but just grew apart, and wanted different things
     
  10. JayBrain

    JayBrain TRIBE Member

    I think the only good break up I'll ever have is when I die of an accidental death.
     
  11. mystique0217

    mystique0217 TRIBE Member

    exactly..so i am not quiting my relationship with my current partner just because it will be inconvenient for us..still makes me (us) grow stronger..

    i never had any good breakup..cause i was with wrong person the whole time..my vision about relationship was totally different..i was seeking the love that i did not get from my parents or i was insecure..and yet tied myself with someone..so my exs ended up becoming violent to me...so my break ups were not really good..

    after i broke up, two became stalkers.. :eek: :eek: :eek:

    but after i started dating my current partner, i have come to believe that i can have a good breakup..cause if he was to date someone else that he values more than our relationship, i should be able to understand it and accept it as some sort of a reality..
    (it sure would not be really easy for me though..)

    but yeah.

    :)
     
  12. Pyrovitae

    Pyrovitae TRIBE Member

    i don't think i've ever had a *bad* bad breakup. for the most part i see everything as a learning experience and even at the time i was capable of seeing progress in my self-evolution. usually i'll even thank whoever i was with for what they taught me.

    then again for the most part i've never really had a very serious relationship.

    *muah*
    ~N
     
  13. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    i've had good break-ups. i'd say i generally have good break-ups.

    i've had break-ups that were good because it was "thank god you're gone, now to get on with my life" and ones that were more painful but we remained friends.

    in my opinion, when a relationship ends, it usually has to end, for at least one person in it. when that time comes if you can both act like adults you can have a 'good break-up'. whether that means you remain friends or not is circumstanstial.
     
  14. Subsonic Chronic

    Subsonic Chronic TRIBE Member

    I'm with Nat in that I've never really had a "bad" breakup per se. Of course it always hurts when you break up with someone, but for the most part I've been in situations where breaking up is the best thing to do and more often than not I've been able to keep a good relationship with my exes. Of course, none of the breakups from serious relationships were due to anything really negative (ie: constant fighting or cheating).

    Pete
     
  15. Sassy

    Sassy TRIBE Member

    I wish I could say yes, but I think I probably had one of the worst break up possible with my ex. I have no contact with him now what so ever and I even recently ran into him at Bittersweet and neither one of us said a word to each other, we both pretended not to see each other - kind of brutal after spending three years with some one. On the other hand I know quite a few people who keep in touch with their exes and whose break ups weren't so bad and who have even become good friends. I guess it really depends on the people involved and the dynamics of the relationship.
     
  16. Cheeka

    Cheeka TRIBE Member

    I have.
    My ex is the greatest guy ever :).
    Our first couple of breakups were kind of harsh - but the last and final one was good.
    It took both of us awhile to get use to being apart after 5 years together but we did get use to it eventually.
    He is one of my best friends on the planet :)!!!
    I can't imagine not having him in my life.
     
  17. Smiley Jo

    Smiley Jo TRIBE Member

    Nope, I haven't.

    I'm trying to stay friends with my last boyfriend, but it's really hard to talk to him still. I feel as though we're being fake, and I don't like that feeling.
    It would be even worse never to talk to him again tho. I did have not talk to him for a month, for my own good. I think once the awkwardness and stuff has been resolved, we'll still be good friends.

    Joanna [​IMG]
     
  18. atomic

    atomic TRIBE Member

    never had a good one.

    I've learned a lot about my own maturity and I'd like to think I'm in a better position now, but I'd have to say that one or both of us never had a smooth exit.
     
  19. [- FuNKtiOn -]

    [- FuNKtiOn -] TRIBE Member

    I can think of a couple of relationships that ended alright.
    the first one was a relationship of a year and a half, and I ended up living with her, which just resulted in us becoming friends more than anything else. thus, we just decided we should keep it as friends before things turned rotten.

    the other was a short one, but we were friends before the relationship, so we are still really close friends.

    I think I have good luck with this, because there are not many of my ex's that I'm not still friends with, or at least can avoid tension with when running into them.
     
  20. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    My last break-up was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Giving up a level of comfort and familiarity was very difficult. Picturing life being so different was impossible.

    But I had a breaking point, where I realized that I really wasn't happy. And that there had to be something better out there for me. Since I broke it off, life has been very difficult. I'm learning alot of things, and some of those things are very hard to learn. But I think for this reason, my break-up was also the best thing I ever did.

    It's really hard making changes like that. And sometimes I wonder if I've made a mistake. But I know I haven't. I'm on my way to better things now.

    I just listened to myself, I knew what was right for me.

    Ming.
     
  21. poker face

    poker face TRIBE Member

    My last break up sucked shit!

    It turned my life upside down and took me a while to recover!

    I don't think there is such a thing as good break up!
     
  22. Loopster

    Loopster TRIBE Member

    I hear you, Cheeka!!! Same goes for me. A lot of good thoughts in this thread, but I agree wholeheartedly with Pyrovitae as well ... if you can say that somebody made your life a little better for having been in it, or at the very least that you've learned something about life & yourself along the way, then all is good! ;)
    I had a nasty time getting over my ex, (and at times it seemed insurmountable, especially when he met my replacement), but in the end, if you are truly friends who care about one another, you just want to see the other person happy ....
     
  23. pr0nstar

    pr0nstar TRIBE Member

    My last real relationship ended badly in a sense, because it ended. But we both needed it to end. For our own reasons. It was hard at first and hard to realize it was ending. It was the first time I'd lived with a female.

    And the most difficult part was the time we spent living together but not together :D

    But she's a girl who I loved to death and still do... and hopefully will remain one of my best friends until the end.

    We still enjoy each other's company... and I'm glad we worked out the ending of our relationship like adults. It wasn't easy but it was worth it.

    pr0nstar
     
  24. AlyG

    AlyG TRIBE Member

    Leave the country! I'm telling you it's the perfect excuse, of course I'm now sleeping with the guy I left...He's just so damn cute...;)
    Hmmm, realized I'm writing this from another country...Hey boys! Wait up! JJ
    A:p
     
  25. Loopster

    Loopster TRIBE Member

    Take comfort in the harder moments in knowing that you followed your intuition & your heart & did what was best for you, regardless of the difficulty getting there ... nothing worthwhile is ever easy ... someone once said to me "one who is not alone with one's self is never truly alone"; words to live by .... besides, the best things in life come when you least expect them, so who knows what's around the corner, Ming ...
     

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