Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by smile, Feb 5, 2002.
what the hell is with us? we almost sound like grownups...
Pete and Liz you took the words right out of my mouth.
I tried to post my thoughts a couple times but it didn't work out so well. they were all jumbled and confusing. but I agree with Pete completely.
It's cuz we're sober!
Well seeing that this thread is about acting on desires, that's what I thought she meant.
Are the same guys who would be into seeing their girlfriend with another girl be willing to give their girlfriend the pleasure of watching them get with another guy?
I don't see any difference, guy/guy, girl/girl, girl/guy. But personally, the thought of the traditional m/f/f with (as someone already said) a vanilla het male and a long-nailed "bi-curious" female acting like the "lesbians" she's seen in mainstream heterosexual porn is about as stimulating as watching paint dry.
no one said that in this thread.. so I don't see how that's relevent.
I think it's totally healthy to talk about your sexual feelings and desires for other people once your in a monogamous relationship with someone you love. monogamy doesn't mean you're "dead inside" and you'll never be attracted to another person.. but many people feel that sex with another person compromises the relationship.. surely you understand that?
I know you do!
^^^That's what I wanted to say, but it kinda came out wrong.
tonedeff, i need whora-whora. STAT.
aphrodite, you don't know me.
my big point was that for some people (myself included) being in love limits us to truely desiring just one person. not because we have to, but because we just do.
all the monogamy people in here can just relax, none of us are going to pank your significant others and we're not saying you should pank ours, so just keep it in your pants.
This is true... it's all a matter of diet and hygene.
Life not black and white enough to even have this conversation.
I personally wouldn't want to be involved in it, mainly for the reason CC mentioned.
But I have no problem with anyone else who wishes to do it, and see no moral dillema.
^^^ i think you and i see eye to eye, kev. i'm totally not trying to say what life should be for other people, i'm just saying how it is for me.
copyright me 2000
Agreed completely, luckly my gf wants to do this FOR me.... still debating. I'm not sure if I'm ready to share.
I would like to think that guys who like their girlfriends to 'experiment' would like to experiment themselves, but I've got a perfect world syndrome.
As for paint drying, there's a certain amount of that I agree with--mostly just cause I'm a little tired of looks/comments/questions I get from straight guys when they figure me out. At the same time, how can I bitch about being the embodiment of the number 1 fantasy for a large segment of the population? I'm also a bit tired of the 'bi-curious' female, but only because I exhausted myself by crushing on them in my younger days. Neither of these being-tired issues actually affect my relationships with people--I have straight male friends, who I know have had thoughts about me with girls, I have bi-curious female friends, and I like them a whole lot, we get along great. So I just think it's important to realize that the small details of our sexual preferences have little to no bearing on our interpersonal relationships. Even in a romantic relationship, cause once you fall in love, a whole lot of things change, get re-prioritized, or just don't matter at all.
And NOBODY should ever act like the 'lesbians' in het porn. Ugh--I shudder to think. But most porn is really bad, and if we're talking about fulfilling sexual experiences here, no one should be mimicking a porn, or doign anything other than what feels good.
You talk very very disregardingly about other people's fantasies, which kinda isn't nice. Just because a threesome is not exactly the ultimate in naughty forbidden thrills for some of us, doesn't mean that it shouldn't be for others. Some people just are vanilla--and that makes being more than that more fun in comparison, right? But silent comparison--there's no need to make people feel bad.
jolly good show, old sport
this whole thing bugs me.
cheating is cheating. how is having sex with a girl any different than having sex with another guy (disregard the obvious please). sex is supposed to be an intimate thing shared between two people who care about each other. if she starts fucking around with other girls, the intimacy shared between you two, is now being shared with someone else..and if you allow that, then where do you draw the line?
damn by-trendiness, and society's obsession with lesbians.
good points Lysistrata! especially about the lesbian porn. damn. what are they doing?
long nails what?
we seem to have a lot in common girl!!!
Lori, it's not about cheating if it's not done behind the person's back. You're right that cheating is still cheating no matter who you're screwing around with, but if it's something discussed before hand, something that both people are cool with, then what's the problem?
I think that the fact that we live with the images you mentioned 24/7, contributes to us becoming desensitized to a certain extent.
I can't speak for anyone else, but there is a certain "shutting off" that occurs in me when I link up with "the right" girl.
For me, sex is coupled with emotion and trust. They're interwoven in my head and there's not a lot I can do about it. The idea of being with someone different then the woman I love actually turns me off because I know that same feeling of "sharing something special" won't be there.
Having someone who looks at me the right way, moves the right way and feels the same way about me as I do for her is pretty cool and in my case, it takes a lot more then physical attraction to establish that kind of relationship.
Anything less then "that kind of relationship" is masturbation to me and not really worth the effort or the possibility that feelings of inadequacy or mistrust may arise in my partener's head.
You go ahead and pank the pope for all I care. Talk about it on message boards, start a mailing list and a 1960's style hippy commune if it tickles your fancy. All I'm saying is that my urge toward monogamy is as real to me is as your urge toward polyamoury (now I'm making words up) is to you. It's got nothing to do with natural or unnatural.
i think she was just talking about attractions, jer. not necessarily about acting on them.
sex is supposed to be whatever the people who are involved in it want it to be.
Ya I know, so am I.
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