Funny email (promise, no arrows)

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by LoopeD, Jan 25, 2002.

  1. LoopeD

    LoopeD Well-Known Member

    OK, some of these terms made me piss myself - bloody Brit slang.....

    Some are familiar but some are new to me - enjoy!



    New Slang Dictionary...


    AEROPLANE BLONDE
    One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

    AUSSIE KISS
    Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

    BADLY PACKED KEBAB
    A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.

    BEAVER LEAVER
    A homosexual.

    BEER COAT
    The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
    at 3 in the morning.

    BEER COMPASS
    The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
    cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how
    you
    get there,

    and where you've come from.

    BEER SCOOTER
    The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember
    it i.e. 'I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have
    caught
    the
    beer scooter'.

    BOBFOC
    Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

    BOILER SUIT
    The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus
    aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually
    brought
    by a
    kangaroo
    court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.

    BONE OF CONTENTION
    A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is
    watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

    BREAKING THE SEAL
    Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
    breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
    required
    every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

    BRITNEY SPEARS
    Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. 'Couple of Britneys please, Doreen'.

    BRUCE LEE
    Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

    BUDGIE'S TONGUE OR SMALL MAN IN A BOAT OR TONGUE PUNCHBAG
    The female erection.

    BUNNY-BOILER
    An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scenece
    in
    the
    film
    'Fatal Attraction', e.g. 'I don't like the look of that aeroplane
    blonde -
    could be
    a bunny boiler'.

    DOUBLE BASS
    A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and
    then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's
    Tongue
    with
    the
    other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass
    instrument,
    but the sound produced is slightly different.

    DRINK-LINK
    A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is
    common to visit one before going out on the booze.

    ETCH-A-SKETCH
    Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her
    nipples simultaneously.

    FLOGGING ON
    Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

    FREE THE TADPOLES
    Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

    FRIGMAROLE
    Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

    FUCKSHIT FUCKSHIT FUCKSHIT
    The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a
    speed.

    GOING FOR A McSHIT
    Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,
    you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,
    your
    declaration to
    them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

    GREYHOUND
    A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

    HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT
    A vigorous masturbation session.

    JOHNNY-NO-STARS
    A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
    works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
    displaying
    stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level
    of
    training.

    MILLENNIUM DOMES
    The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
    the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.

    MONKEY BATH
    A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
    Aa!Aa! Aa!'.

    MUMBLER
    An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the
    'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

    MYSTERY BUS
    The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
    toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people
    so
    the pub

    is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

    MYSTERY TAXI
    The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
    up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
    your
    bed
    instead.

    NBR (No Beers Required)
    Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a
    10-Pinter.

    NELSON MANDELA
    Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

    ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE
    The need to defecate imminently.

    PEARL HARBOUR
    Cold (weather). An example of it would be - 'It's a bit Pearl Harbour
    out there!'
    Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.

    PICASSO ARSE
    A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
    got 4 buttocks.

    RAGMAN'S COAT
    Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. 'That mumbler looks quite fit but I
    bet she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat !'

    RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE
    To defecate e.g. ' I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just
    nipping out to release a chocolate hostage'.

    SALAD DODGER
    An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

    SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB

    SPERM WAIL OR SPUEPHEMISM
    A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

    STARSHIP TROOPER OR ARSETRONAUT
    A homosexual.

    SWAMP-DONKEY
    A deeply unattractive woman.

    TART FUEL or BITCH PISS
    Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

    TEN-PINTER
    Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

    TITANIC
    A lady who goes down first time out.

    TODGER DODGER
    A lesbian.

    TWO-BAGGER OR DOUBLE BAGGER
    Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their
    head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).

    UP ON BLOCKS
    Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. 'I
    don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks'.

    VAGINA DECLINER
    A homosexual.

    WALLACE AND GROMIT
    Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

    WANK SEANCE
    During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being
    watched with disgust by your dead relatives.

    WYNONA RYDER
    Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. 'Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a
    bottle of tart fuel please Doreen'.

    X-PILES
    Unwanted visitors from Uranus.




    [​IMG]d
     
  2. janiecakes

    janiecakes TRIBE Member

    haha

    badly packed kebab

    ahahaha
     
  3. Subsonic Chronic

    Subsonic Chronic TRIBE Member

    I've also heard the term Dreamboat body, shipwreck face[/b]

    Those are hilarious though. I'm pissing myself here... [​IMG]
     
  4. Subsonic Chronic

    Subsonic Chronic TRIBE Member

    UBB owns me. [​IMG]
     
  5. Eclectic

    Eclectic TRIBE Member

    I love British "Rhyme Slang"


    "Wipe that grin off your Chevy Chase or I'll knock you in the Errol Flynn."
     
  6. matty

    matty TRIBE Member

    hahha, I just tried this - The position is almost identical to the double bass! The sound my double bass is making leads me to believe it needs tuning.
     
  7. Jazz

    Jazz TRIBE Member

    Or butter face, i.e. "she's a butter face"... meaning everythings good but her face...
     
  8. Evil Dynovac

    Evil Dynovac Well-Known Member

    Committing... to... memory.

    :lol:
     
  9. LoopeD

    LoopeD Well-Known Member

    Or summer teeth - some are here and some are there.............


    [​IMG]d
     
  10. Cameron

    Cameron TRIBE Member

    yes, a beer coat!
     

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