Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by Magnolia Fan, Jan 13, 2002.

  1. Tonedeff

    Tonedeff TRIBE Member

    that part was a joke...but dammit it wasn't inane!

    I'll say it again: I have a lot of admiration for you people and the strength of your convictions (Rob you can date my sister anytime), but I don't believe in them as constants. The world and other people will act on you in strange and unpredictable ways.

    and Booty Bits makes a lot of sense, what a wise soul
  2. Temper Tantrum

    Temper Tantrum TRIBE Member

    Actually it's funny because to me emotional cheating would be much worse then physical cheating. Human beings make mistakes, both physically and emotionally , granted, our nature is that of imperfect creatures. I've cheated, been cheated on, cared and not cared, and I've learned from my mistakes, and grown from them. Do I regret cheating on others when I was in the relationship? No, because that was a lesson I had to learn. Do I regret the pain I caused them? Absolutely.

    There is also the question of what 'defines' cheating. Is it getting drunk and kissing someone else? Or is it being sober and sleeping with someone else? Is it falling in love with someone else? Is it flirting too much? Is it cybersex? Each relationship has a unique definiton of cheating, per the individuals involved.

    This raises the question of what if your in a significant relationship, and you 'cheat' (wether according to your definition or your partners, because what someone considers cheating varies from person to person) and it's a one time thing, an accident, do you tell the other person? Or will that just clear your consciense and make them feel bad?

    I have learned, through hurting others and being hurt myself, that cheating -is- wrong because as has been stated, it's a lack of respect for the other person. If your involved with someone you should have the decency to treat them with respect and integrity, which cheating is not. This being said however, as kate pointed out, we are human and we do make mistakes. It's easy to be on a moral pedestal and condone cheating, but a lot of people have been in the situation where yes they have 'cheated' or been sorely tempted too. Just remember we are creatures with faults, that is what defines a lot of who we are. our mistakes, and our growing from them.

    That being said, for me personally, it would be a lot harder to forgive a significant other for *caring* about someone else then fucking them for me. Emotional cheating is much worse to me then physical.

    Just my 0.02

  3. Chiclet

    Chiclet TRIBE Promoter

    Is that all? [​IMG]
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I've been lucky (or ignorant) in life, cuz I've never been cheated on.

    At one point a couple summers ago, my ex-fiancee and I had a conversation about her recent desires toward a guy she worked with. It was extremely hard to come to grips with the reality that she was thinking of acting on her fantasies, but in hindsight, I really appreciate the fact that she thought enough about me to let me know. I dealt with it by taking a vacation to visit some friends in Tennessee, and having some time apart. While down there, I saw the movie Eyes Wide Shut, and basically broke down in the theater because it was way too real. It was a twisted period in my life, that's fo' sure.

    She never did hook up with that guy Ryan, but the seeds of her waning were unequivically planted. In the spring of 2000, she decided to go for change. She had never had a serious boyfriend before me, and wanted to experience a different kind of life. So that's when we broke up...after 5 years. Even though it was a hard thing to go through, I completely understood her rationale.

    The best thing is that she was totally honest through it all, and that's what counts.

    The fallout though, I think, was that I had some serious commitment problems that I'm still trying to overcome. I've been on a wholly terror of hookups since we split, and so far haven't been able to commit past about a month to anyone. But I don't think anyone has been right for me since Tara.

    But my eyes are wide open.
  5. Tonedeff

    Tonedeff TRIBE Member

    well somehow this conversation has taken us to places I really hadn't intended to go...all I really wanted to say is that a person who says and believes in their heart of hearts that they will never cheat on a significant other might find themselves eating shit at some point in their future, and finding they quite like the taste.

    But if you want to talk social theory, that's another thread. If you want to talk about whether homo sapiens was ever intended to be a monogamous species, and the advantages and disadvantages of modern societies where monogamy is the ideal, then that's another thread too.
  6. peanut butter

    peanut butter Well-Known Member


    to each his own,

    I've seen it, and thought about it but
    I've got my own sense of honour (to myself, if not to the person I'm involved with).

    I fiercly value friendship over getting a peice of tail but I understand that's my opinion, not everyones. I don't look badly on people who cheat b/c it's their choice and they've got to deal with the highs and lows of it all.


    it suxxx when your shit involves others


  7. Magnolia Fan

    Magnolia Fan TRIBE Member

    mmm... u2....

    "love is blindness, I don't want to see."

    perhaps to some, finding and commiting prevents them from looking further.. after all... if the whole point is to find the right person, and you decide that a certain person is the right person... then why would you still be looking around at others. Love can actually be blindness, because you look at others as others and not potentials...

    any thoughts...?
  8. jus me

    jus me TRIBE Member

    This is going to be a looooonnnggg thread.

    I agree with many ppl here, but I'm not gonna quote all of you here!

    I've never cheated on anyone, so I wouldn't be on that side of the argument...I have been cheated on however.

    The worst feeling ever, of your everything falling apart at the seams. [​IMG] Yes, he lacked a backbone & morals. I'm glad I got away from him!

    Everything has mostly been said. Except for one...for those who have been cheated on, and who have cheated: why would you inflict pain on someone you care so much about, when you already know what it feels like? C'mon...! It makes no sense to me! [​IMG]

    *clap* *clap* Nicely said Timo! [​IMG]

    My exact thoughts when I found out I was cheated on, though not that clear. [​IMG]
  9. pr0nstar

    pr0nstar TRIBE Member

    Sometimes I cheat on my right hand and use my left hand to jerk it.

    pr0nstar [​IMG]
  10. Magnolia Fan

    Magnolia Fan TRIBE Member

    lol @ that
  11. DJ Doublecross

    DJ Doublecross TRIBE Member

    Fair enough, I'll grant you that. People definitely change. Meanwhile, I'm going to continue believing that many people (including me) will live their entire lives without cheating on anyone. Whether that's being unrealistic or not is irrelevant, as I like the thought for now, and have yet to see anything to change the way I think.

    True, that topic is too big to discuss here... but that's inevitably where the discussion goes when people start arguing whether or not cheating is "wrong" and why. Maybe we'll have that debate another time, in another thread (because it is an interesting argument).

  12. joey

    joey TRIBE Member

    cheating is ass
    i don't think there is anything worse

    If you are in a relationship and come across someone else that just sweeps you away then you ought to have the courtesy and decency to your lover to let them know straight up.

    I couldn't image anything more heart shattering then finding out your significant other is cheating on you.

    And no "experimenting" is not an excuse, either is "I was drunk"
  13. Magnolia Fan

    Magnolia Fan TRIBE Member

    walking in on it is [​IMG]
  14. ~Loress~

    ~Loress~ TRIBE Member

    yes...getting involoved in other people's shit definitely sux BIGTIME!!!

    however...lets say you are really good friends with both parties, and you're aware that one of them is cheating (even to the point of covering up their lies) could you not be involved in this situtaion?

  15. Boo

    Boo TRIBE Member

    Just don't cheat on this woman

  16. skyparty

    skyparty TRIBE Member

  17. skyparty

    skyparty TRIBE Member

    true. that's a tough call.
    that takes some serious thinking.
    and your own best judgement of the situation.

    narissa [​IMG]
  18. BreakzBroad

    BreakzBroad Well-Known Member

    easy there tiger!! did i fucking say i've ever cheated??? no! so don't make assumptions about a person u don't know. secondly, i know so many GOOD, SELF-CONTROLLED ppl. who have said, i'd never ever cheat, but then later they did. Anyways, i'll continue thinking what i want to think, and it's not the end of the world if u don't agree with me.

  19. BreakzBroad

    BreakzBroad Well-Known Member

    THANKU!! i really don't care if ppl. jump all over me, and say i'm an idiot becuz of this statement, becuz i tend to disagree with most ppl. on this board. We're the smart ones [​IMG] but having someone agree with me, is always fun too.

  20. tobywan

    tobywan TRIBE Member

    Just like many others have said, cheating is wrong. end of story. There's no "gray area", cheating is as simple as black and white....just like when one person kills another.

  21. Sassy

    Sassy TRIBE Member

    Cheating sucks and it usually destroys a relationship - I admit I have been cheated on and have cheated myself. In retrospect I think I cheated to get back at my ex because he did it to me, I know it was totally infantile and wrong but on some basic level it made me feel better. I wouldn't do it again, it was totally dishonest and made me feel like shit. Relationships are not easy and temptation occurs on a regular basis, what makes a solid and healthy relatioship is the ability not to give in to temptation for the gains of being with the person you love far outweigh the cheap thrills.
  22. skyparty

    skyparty TRIBE Member

    there is too a grey area.

    and it's not like when on person kills another. not at all

    narissa [​IMG]

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