i'm not usually one for email forwards but this one made me laugh pretty hard: Many people who experienced automobile accidents were asked to explain what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms. The following quotes were taken from actual insurance forms: Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscurring my vision. I did not see the other car. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cat. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front. I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries. ------------------------- If you have any funny forwards or good jokes, post 'em here.