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Be careful out there

Discussion in 'Techno Room' started by Blaise, Jan 25, 2002.

  1. Blaise

    Blaise TRIBE Member

    Hello everyone,

    Let me preface this story by stating that by no means am I looking for any sympathy. I am simply telling you all this so you can help prepare yourself to avoid or react to a similar situation and spread this information to the people close to you.

    Here we go…I was on my way home from the gym on Tuesday night (01/22) at about 11 p.m. My gym is less than a 5-minute walk from my apartment (I live in downtown Toronto). I was taking my usual route home, when a young guy stopped me and asked if I had any weed for sale. Because I’ve been approached like this before I politely said no and tried to turn the corner onto my street (my apartment is no less than a minute away). He continued to ask where to find some drugs and as he did he kept blocking my forward progress. As he was doing so, he continued to ask me questions (where I’m from, how long I’ve lived here, my nationality, religion etc.). After about 30 seconds of this I finally said that I was late to meet my brother and I had to go. He then got verbally aggressive and came right up into my face asking why I was dissing him and why I was disrespecting him etc. At this point by blocking my path, he had maneuvered me so I was facing him and the front of a Pizza Pizza (which had a few people in it). My other lines of sight were cut off. In hindsight I should have know he was setting me up, but I did not want to turn my back on him.

    The next thing I know, I’m hit over the top of my head with a glass bottle. I hear the bottle smash and the pain driving through my skull. I was dazed, but remained on my feet. I turned around and saw his partner staring and laughing. I turned back to the person who distracted me and he was just sneering. I also saw a slight look of shock. I guess they were surprised that I was still standing up and conscious (so was I, I think I was in shock). I quickly regained my composure and took off. I walked into the direction of potentially populated area (in the opposite direction of my home, so they don’t follow me there). Surprisingly they did not follow.

    As I ran home, my heart was racing and my head was pounding. I got home and collapsed on the floor to my sister’s surprise. I looked on the ground and there were droplets of blood. I went to the bathroom and say a stream of blood down my neck and a huge stain of blood on my shirt.

    I called the police and told them the story. They sent a car to my place. Before arriving the circled the area to try to find these people. The arrived at my home, at which point they informed me they could not find anyone. However, they went to the scene and saw the broken bottle and some blood. I then gave my statement; they took some pictures of me and my wound and then left.

    I’ve had a number of concussions in my life from sports and car accidents, so I knew what to look for. The bleeding stopped and I was not getting any serious concussion symptoms. I self diagnosed it as a minor concussion. Thank goodness I have a head made of concrete.

    These punks just took my hat – a cheap little wool hat. I think I would have been robbed and beaten up if I had collapsed from the blow to the head. I was very lucky to escape without more serious injury.

    I tell you this story because I want all of you and the people close to you to please be careful when you’re out on the streets. Be aware of your surroundings, stay near to people, carry a cell phone, try not to walk alone etc.

    My sister, mother and many of my female friends walk alone at night for one reason or another, I’m sorry if I sound sexist on this but I encourage all of you women out there to be extra careful. Take a self-defense course, carry a cell phone, mace, pepper spray etc.

    Please take care of yourselves!

    It’s been three days since this event and I’ve been on a bumpy ride of emotions. I constantly think about it when I’m not occupied (i.e. with work). For the last three days I’ve changed my normal routine (i.e. routes I walk, avoiding that area) and I hate having to do this, because they win by me doing this. However, it’s not worth setting myself up for another attack. I’ve also been wracking my head on why someone would do this to another human being. My conclusion is that these two individuals simply made this attack for their own pleasure. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. If it wasn’t me it would have been some other poor person.

    The second reason I’m telling this story is because I’m seeking some council on dealing with this. I’m having difficulty in stopping myself from thinking about it all the time. Obviously I am not the only person who’s experienced this type of attack, so I’m asking any of you who’ve had a similar experience to tell me how they handled it. Please post your recommendations or check my profile and e-mail me your advice.

    Again, please be safe out there.

    Blaise
     
  2. seeker

    seeker TRIBE Member

    man, that sucks. sorry to hear about your misfortune. i can relate though:

    i had been living in TO for about 8 months when this happened; those were my first 8 months away from 'home'.

    one night on the way to work, my room-mate and i were approached by three individuals who asked for cigarettes. since neither one of us smoked, we told them we had none, and kept on walking. one got in my face, and knocked my walkman out of my hands. my first reaction -- to my surprise -- was to lunge at the guy and grab his throat. this resulted in his two friends eeach grabbing one of my arms, and him pulling a knife and slicing me twice.

    my room-mate ran away. the incident ended with the three guys backing away from me, threatening to "chop off my head" if they ever saw me again. needless to say, i was frightened, and like yourself, in a state of shock.

    i returned to my apartment to call the police. my room-mate was there. when i asked him what the hell he was doing running away, he told me that he "thought he should get help, since i seemed to have the situation under control". what?! i had *two* guys holding my arms, and a third brandishing a knife! under control?! needless to say, i moved out three weeks later.

    anyway, the police showed up, took a statement, drove me to work and that was it. several months later i got a call from the cops to go down to the station on college (near yonge, can't remember which division) to look at some photos and try to make an ID. needless to say that after so long a period of time, my memories of the night were a little blurred -- at least as far as making an ID was concerned.

    in terms of dealing with it, it took some time. i was lucky enough to be able to move out of the neighbourhood shortly after the event, and that helped a lot. i also learned a lot about walking alone at night. stick to well lit areas, and if you meet someone else walking, make eye contact, but not in a menacing way. i know that doesn't help in situations like the one you were involved in -- you had continued direct contact with your attackers -- but it helps to ease fear in other situations.

    if i were you, i'd sit down and explore the situation with a pen and paper. by writing it out, like you've already done, you'll see that you had no options; it was just a bad situation. there are some questions you can never answer, like "why do people do this?"

    take care.
     
  3. The Truth

    The Truth TRIBE Member

    Post this in the General Room so that more people can see this.
     
  4. The Kid

    The Kid TRIBE Member

    Hey Blaise, dude I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, that's rough.

    About a year ago I was jumped by two punk kids, simaler situation in that I was just minutes from my house.

    Basically, the one guy started with a similar angle, asked me if I had weed... anyways, the one guy pushed me from behind into a car, and by the time I realized what was going on he was sitting on my chest punching me in the face. Then his buddy stood on my wrists so he could get both fists into the action. Fun.

    Yeah, stay safe guys and gals...there's a lot of little assholes out there.
     
  5. Nesta

    Nesta TRIBE Member

    In the summer of '95 some punks in a car asked my friends and I if we had any weed, and we told them no (we really didn't have any). One guy in the back seat rolled down his window, pulled out a gun, and shot at us 3 times. He pointed the gun slightly upwards so he wouldn't hit us, but it definitely scared the shit out of us.

    I'm sorry to hear what happened to you Blaise. Unfortunately some people don't have much to live for, and therefore don't understand the value of life. Be safe.
     
  6. poker face

    poker face TRIBE Member

    Dude that is horrible!

    I hate fucking low life punks!
     
  7. tommysmalls

    tommysmalls TRIBE Member

    holey cow Blaise - i'm so sorry to hear this !!!!!!

    i feel for you man - i've been mugged once, and i know how it feels - i walk around alone a lot at night and i'm always looking over my shoulder.

    be careful, indeed!
     
  8. derek

    derek TRIBE Member

    That's messed up man; those are some weak willed individuals that played you like that Blaise.

    Take care,

    Derek
     
  9. tEkKiD

    tEkKiD TRIBE Promoter

    Hey Blaise, this is horrible man...i'm so sorry this has happened to yah dude [​IMG]

    i hope your alright and able to pull through this Blaise [​IMG]

    thats pretty cool of you to share this with people to keep people warned

    take care Blaise

    doug.
     
  10. ElektroTekBabe

    ElektroTekBabe TRIBE Member

    Blaise...you need to sit and talk to someone (Your sister, friends, etc) about your feelings and emotions.

    When I was 17, my friend and I thought that we were cool, so we went to a club called Orchid (Tonic now) with a fake ID. After eaving the place...we saw someone walking around our car. (we saw this from far away, so we didn't know if it was our imagination or not) There was no one else outside except her and I! By the time we approached the car, the person seemed to have disappeared. So my friend was reaching into her purse to grab ker keys and all of a sudden there was this huge naked guy with pantyhose on his head! I thought I was going to die. I was SO scared. He was standing right behind her! My friend though...she's awesome...she kicked his 'thingie' with her heels, opened the door and we jumped into the car. This all happened so fast! Next thing we know is that this freak was standing right in front of our car!! We were parked right in fron of a wall. He was banging on the hood of the car with his foot, while playing with himself. So us with our KGB minds, instead of driving away, we wanted to teach him a lesson. So we started driving forward, and he did not expect this so he didn't have time to run away. We managed to get his body stuck between the wall and our car. It was nice to see that scared look on his face, through the pantyhouse...it was like a reversal. The fear was within him now! We didn't want to break his legs, so we decided that we scared him enough and drove away. Needless to say that we were shaking and crying all the way home.

    BUT...the good part of this story is that we got a chance to "play" back. Hence, we were not psychologically damaged afterwards. I still needed to talk to someone about my feeling and emotions. That REALLY helped Blaise!

    I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. If you believe in karma, you know that those bastards will not go unpunished.

    If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. galitbrener@hotmail.com
     
  11. Adam Duke

    Adam Duke TRIBE Member

    Geez, Blaise...sorry you had to go through that experience..glad to hear you came out of it with just a few cuts on the head!

    I've lived for 1 year in Parkdale and 2 years in Regent Park without a problem. Seeker is totally right - eye contact is important, as is attitude. You don't have to look like your dissing the other individual, just look like you know where your going, that you belong there, and give them the idea that you won't be easy prey for them (ie. that glimmer in your eye like you'll flip out and beat the tar out of them if you have to). I admit it's not the friendliest of approaches, but you learn who needs to see this and who isn't going to harm you.

    Things like this though, are like getting hit by a car - you just never know when something like that can happen, so you can't let your mind stress over possibilities. Change your habits a little to lower your chances of it happening, but don't let it consume your life. Now that you've experenced it, you'll be better prepared if someone forces you into that position again.

    Once again man, glad to hear your ok - call me if you want to talk.

    @m.
     
  12. Blaise

    Blaise TRIBE Member

    Thank you so much everyone. Sharing your personal experience, advise and conern has been helpful. I do feel much better.

    I've been approached like this before, just never attacked. I've practiced the eye contact/attitude thing which many of you suggested and it has worked. But this time, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and if it wasn't me it would of been someone else. The randomness of this action and pointlessness of this action is also unsettling.

    The hard part is trying not to think about it. If I'm not busy with work or something else that keeps me occupied I just keep replaying it. But you're all right, discussing helps. I'm not scared or sad, I'm angry and feel violated. I hate the fact that I have to adjust my routine to feel safe...it feels like they win again...know what I mean?

    Thanks again!
     
  13. fleaflo

    fleaflo TRIBE Member

    Yo, I'm glad you're ok.

    Counselling is a fantastic idea, cause it'll give you a proper outlet to deal with the situation.

    Do be cautious about 'self-diagnosing' yourself tho. Trip to the Dr is always a good idea when you get hit in the head no matter what.
     
  14. jynx

    jynx TRIBE Member

    Holy shittle.......
    After reading this thread..I'm starting to think twice about moving to T.O.
    I can't believe what some of you have been through....
    Blaise, thanks for the warning......sorry that you had to go through that....
    some people are real assholes...... [​IMG]
     
  15. mystique0217

    mystique0217 TRIBE Member

    oh wow.
    I am very sorry to hear this.

    I hope that music and dancing will heal what you have experienced.

    *hugs*

    -kumi
     
  16. ladd

    ladd TRIBE Member

    it sucks that a rather large amount of people on this board actually have had similar experiences. I think the only cure is time, after awhile your life slowly adjusts back to its routine and it becomes a faded memory.
    last year at warped tour me and my friend were sitting in the bleachers (it was at the skydome) when someone sat beside me and asked me if i had weed. blah blah blah, a minute later he was asking me how i felt if i was getting robbed, while his other friend sat on the other side of my friend, surrounding us. normally i would be freaked out by this, but for some reason i didnt feel like getting robbed by some dumb ass who looked like he was 19 or somthing still living with his parents. i stood up, said "i dont think so" and pushed the guy back in the seats and went to a crowded area (which was about 15 feet behind us. However they followed us and he looked alot taller and bigger than my first assumption.
    him and his friend wanted to kick the crap outta me because i was 'dissing' him. While they totally ignored my other frien, the one guy ran into the bathroom, while the dumb ass tried to pull me in there, i got loose and ran.
    needless to say, even though they didnt get what they wanted, i was still shakey for days, even weeks. you literally cannot get it out of your head, and the incident runs through your mind every chance it gets.
    after awhile the memory fades as with the emotional feelings.

    your situation was alot more intense than mine, but its a good thing that you shared it, as with everyone else.

    i think the best and only cure is time.
     
  17. Blaise

    Blaise TRIBE Member

    Thanks again everyone.

    Since this incident I've beem really observant of how others walk around the city and I'd like to make a suggestion to everyone, that you all can pass to your loved ones.

    I notice that many people, walk with their walkmans on. This cuts off one of the two most important senses you need when travelling alone - your hearing (the other is your eye-sight). Please be cautious with your walkmans when travelling alone.

    Thanks again everyone and be safe.
     
  18. ViShiS*

    ViShiS* TRIBE Member

    I'm glad that you are alright, and I just wanted to say that you seem to be handling all this very well. With regards to those thugs -What goes around comes around. Keep your head up.

    Perdue
     
  19. patri©k

    patri©k TRIBE Member

    I got robbed once.

    I was in Montreal... my friend and I just left some rave at the 'Playground' and we were on our way back to the hotel.

    Just before we got to the car... 4 or 5 guys jumped us... started hitting us... ripped my chain from my neck and went through my pockets.... I only had a dime of herb, 15 bucks and a phone number stolen.

    I figured it was just best to let these fuckers take what they want and avoid getting hurt.

    I'll never forget the fuckers face who ripped the chain off my neck. never. if I ever see him again... I'll know... and he'll know too.

    after all that..... those french fucking cops did NUTHING...... ah oui... blah blah..blah..je ne parle pas englais... tabernacle....

    prick fucks.

    yeah.... sorry to hear about your head.

    carry pepper spray... it comes in handy during an assault OR bar-b-q.

    fattyp©2002
     
  20. stretchandhooker

    stretchandhooker TRIBE Promoter

    Blaise ,
    Keep your head up champ !
    and try to keep on smilin'
    s.
     
  21. Nub!

    Nub! TRIBE Member

    Good lord! Hope they catch the assholes that did it, no one should get away with something like that. Worse part is that it was so close to home, and it starts to leave doubts as to if the neighbourhood is safe.

    Its times like these that I am glad that I live in London... sure its supposed to be the 'rough' part of town, but its all quiet old people and a lot of poor students.

    But when I lived in Cambridge, my brother was beaten up by some guys because he was an albino and they knew he couldn't really see them well enough to defend himself. I think something like 6 guys beat up my brother and 2 of his friends while they were innocently playing hockey on a park ice rink... just scated up behind them when they were playing and took them all out [​IMG]

    I've never been one for violent action, so I don't understand people these days.

    -=Nub=-
     
  22. lucky1

    lucky1 TRIBE Member

    I lived in toronto all my life. I grew up at Lqwrence and Weston. (where the cop was recently shot) Sad to say but I can think of at least 5 times when people have tried to take advantage of me. I thin the first time something like this happens to you it's the scarriest and most upsetting. When it happens again I think you are more prepared to deal with it, not as shocked.

    One Time a friend and I were coming down off hits (we were 16) and walking along weston to get some weed. These girls came up to us and started going give us money blah, blah, blah. Next thing we know there is more of them. two of us with like 8 girls all surrounding us. They started grabbing my hair and throwing shit at me and trying to knock us down by kicking us in the legs and shit. THey tried to throw punches but we blocked them. What we did was keep walking. Don't stop and give them the oportunity to block your way. We stood up to them, saying we don't have any money leave us alone, stop following us etc. I guess by us being strong and not showing we're scared, we didn't look like such easy targets. They stopped persueing us and we continued walking to our destination.

    Another time I was standing on the platform at St. Gearge talking to a friend when this girl comes running down the stairs and i turn slightly to see her punch me in the side of the face. I have never seen her before in my life and she comes right up to me and punches me in the face. luky for me I din't fall backwards onto the tracks.
     
  23. Blaise

    Blaise TRIBE Member

    Wow, all your experiences are really troubling, scary and make me really angry.

    The most important thing is all of you came away alive and not to seriously injured.

    Thanks again for your insights and sharing your stories.

    Keep well and take care.
     

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