Your Feminine Powers....

Gfunkdiva · 10-19-2006, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyiwantchocolate

No worries lady, I just wasn't directing my 100 years back commment on your post.

Cheers. It was the crying comment associated with it that ruffled my feathers a little. How girly of me.

rubytuesday · 10-19-2006, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chooch

i guess some of us are clichés.
; )

That's a given if we're talking about "feminine" things. Gender differences are mostly socialized so it can't be any other way unless we limit the discussion to our menstrual cycle and boobs.
For instance there is nothing inherently feminine about makeup, except that it emphasizes the physical traits that are indicative of estrogen.

Ms. Fit · 10-19-2006, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyiwantchocolate

I completely understand - interesting how the comments turned out WRT to stereotypes though, hey?

yeah, it makes me uneasy. i'm not *quite* sure why though. society oppressing women? bah, i don't want to shat all over this thread.

ravinjunkie · 10-19-2006, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyiwantchocolate

Why do many posts in this thread give me the overall impression of setting women's progress back about a hundred years?

<3
Finally.

ravinjunkie · 10-19-2006, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gfunkdiva

One of the most empowering things I know how to do is to take something that would be perceived as weak or negative due to its femininity and reclaim it. No different than being proud of being a bitch or reclaiming words like dyke or kicking ass in a man's world on my terms. I decide what makes me feel powerful - if others think it puts me back 100 years that's their problem.

It doesn't put you back at all, probably puts you more forward.
This is why we have the upperhand.

daddyiwantchocolate · 10-19-2006, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gfunkdiva

Cheers. It was the crying comment associated with it that ruffled my feathers a little. How girly of me.

haha!

p.s. want to go purse shopping?

Ms. Fit · 10-19-2006, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyiwantchocolate

Why do many posts in this thread give me the overall impression of setting women's progress back about a hundred years?

agreed.

while i like all those cutesy things: makeup, heels, short skirts, pink...i don't think it makes me feel more 'feminine'. What it does it makes me feel more attractive to look at, which [i]helps[i/] me feel more confident. but why would these man-made objects and notions how feminine I am and feel? why SHOULD they?! *shudder*

things that make me feel 'feminine': my period.

things that make me feel pretty: when i make an effort to look good (make-up, heels, etc.)

mariazmess · 10-19-2006, 04:16 PM

my period makes me feel gross and bloated. but i agree with the rest, ms. fit.

deevah · 10-19-2006, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms. Fit

things that make me feel 'feminine': my period.

w3rd

i dye my hair, throw on a pair of killer heels, accessorize like a peacock cuz i want to look attractive. That is not gender specific. If i had a wang, i'd do the same thing only with the societal gender-specific acceptable form of it.

Expressing emotion doesn't make me more feminine, it just makes me EMOTIONAL. Crying due to grief or pain is normal. Crying b/c you're using it as a "feminine wile" is just manipulative. Being an emotional wreck doesn't make you feminine, it makes you weak.

Ms. Fit · 10-19-2006, 04:46 PM

typos all over teh place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms. Fit

agreed.

while i like all those cutesy things: makeup, heels, short skirts, pink...i don't think it makes me feel more 'feminine'. What it does is make me feel more attractive to look at, which helps me feel more confident. but why would these man-made objects and notions determine how feminine I am and feel? why SHOULD they?! *shudder*

things that make me feel 'feminine': my period.

things that make me feel pretty: when i make an effort to look good (make-up, heels, etc.)

Ms. Fit · 10-19-2006, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deevah

Crying b/c you're using it as a "feminine wile" is just manipulative. .

agreed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by deevah

Being an emotional wreck doesn't make you feminine, it makes you weak.

I was going to say something to this effect but decided to shut up. I agree nonetheless.

Thanks mariazmess.

Gfunkdiva · 10-19-2006, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deevah

Expressing emotion doesn't make me more feminine, it just makes me EMOTIONAL. Crying due to grief or pain is normal. Crying b/c you're using it as a "feminine wile" is just manipulative. Being an emotional wreck doesn't make you feminine, it makes you weak.

Who on earth would use crying as manipulation? I can't even imagine doing that. Ok some girls would, but no one in my circles. Gross.

The ability to cry during a good movie, laugh til I cry with my girlfriends, cry in empathy for someone else's pain, or just cry in my bed by myself to release frustration or pain does not make me an emotional wreck. It certainly does not make me weak.

Ms. Fit · 10-19-2006, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gfunkdiva

Who on earth would use crying as manipulation? I can't even imagine doing that. Ok some girls would, but no one in my circles. Gross.

The ability to cry during a good movie, laugh til I cry with my girlfriends, cry in empathy for someone else's pain, or just cry in my bed by myself to release frustration or pain does not make me an emotional wreck. It certainly does not make me weak.

and just to reiterate - it also doesn't make you a woman.

my friend's husband cried after watching the movie The Guardian.

my friend's dad cries at the end of The Wizard of Oz.

NemIsis · 10-19-2006, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deevah

Expressing emotion doesn't make me more feminine, it just makes me EMOTIONAL. Crying due to grief or pain is normal. Crying b/c you're using it as a "feminine wile" is just manipulative. Being an emotional wreck doesn't make you feminine, it makes you weak.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms. Fit

and just to reiterate - it also doesn't make you a woman.

my friend's husband cried after watching the movie The Guardian.

my friend's dad cries at the end of The Wizard of Oz.

Yes, but we are discussing what makes us feel feminine. What may make you feel feminine, is not necessarily what makes others feel feminine..

Arguing that showing emotion is weak is a complete non sequitur as this is based on personal experience.. I think most would agree that as women we do tend to be more emotional. Some women try to hide it as if it doesn't exist. Personally, I take pride in it. Yes Dammit!! I cry at silly commercials!! I cry with my friends when they are sad and laugh when they are happy!!. I know it makes me a better person and could never see it as 'weak'..

However, women who use it it to maipulate?? I've known a couple. Need to be shot and pissed on..

geminigirl · 10-19-2006, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelsole

-wearing my black boots and a short skirt!
-loving that i am not such a tomboy anymore

Ditto!

Tins · 10-19-2006, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daddyiwantchocolate

Why do many posts in this thread give me the overall impression of setting women's progress back about a hundred years?

I didn't get that impression at all. I thought it was interesting to read how the girls feel feminine. We are girls after all... being girly doesn't have to hold us back unless we let it.

Skipper · 10-19-2006, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deevah

Expressing emotion doesn't make me more feminine, it just makes me EMOTIONAL. Crying due to grief or pain is normal. Crying b/c you're using it as a "feminine wile" is just manipulative. Being an emotional wreck doesn't make you feminine, it makes you weak.

Exactly...

I find it hard to believe Jesux meant that crying is great because it makes her feel feminine though.

Appropriate location btw

OTIS · 10-19-2006, 07:21 PM

Speaking of cliché’s the idea of feminist power based on the adoption of traditionally “male” qualities is one in and of itself. That kind of thinking is more evident of 1960's reactionary movements and rarely encapsulates the progress of some leading feminist thought today; which is more moderate and is more accepting of traditionally "feminine" qualities. The antiquated way of understanding things like emotional intuition and sensitivity is to consider it in relation to men, in that weakness is only an issue if you make the definition of those qualities contingent on the inclusion of "male" qualities. Some women embrace these as a way of freeing them from this relationship which frees them from the stigma as well. Sorry for the intrusion.

deevah · 10-19-2006, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTIS

Speaking of cliché’s the idea of feminist power based on the adoption of traditionally “male” qualities is one in and of itself. That kind of thinking is more evident of 1960's reactionary movements and rarely encapsulates the progress of some leading feminist thought today; which is more moderate and is more accepting of traditionally "feminine" qualities. The antiquated way of understanding things like emotional intuition and sensitivity is to consider it in relation to men, in that weakness is only an issue if you make the definition of those qualities contingent on the inclusion of "male" qualities. Some women embrace these as a way of freeing them from this relationship which frees them from the stigma as well. Sorry for the intrusion.

correction - it's not only to adopt the male qualities, but to maintain the innate feminine ones (the whole menstrual thing, managing the traditional female role within the family) and to adhere to the cultural pressures.

e.g. i'll open my own doors, fix my own car, buy my own bling while breastfeeding the newborn, earn a 6-figure income, be a whore in the bedroom, maintain a spotless picture-perfect house in a pair of fishnets and stillettos and look like i walked out of a spread in Vogue.

There hasn't been an equalization of genders, just an illusion that a woman now has to be a "super"-gender. She's chastised if she takes on a more traditional role and disappoints if she 'can't have it all'.

PosTMOd · 10-19-2006, 07:45 PM

vagina

MissBlu · 10-19-2006, 10:31 PM

hmm, my superpowers?

well let's see, we'll start with my cute boobs, and finish with my heroic swiffer-wielding abilities...

feel free to flll in the blanks

~Loress~ · 10-19-2006, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTIS

smokeyeyes · 10-20-2006, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chooch

What ...makes you feel your female, womanly, power?

nothing has made me feel more female and powerful than being pregnant and giving birth. hands down.

though i'd have to say getting my period gives me that feeling as well, just not as strongly.

lots of the stuff listed in this thread does make me feel girly... but the pregnancy truly made me feel powerful.

Mrs. Brick · 10-20-2006, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PosTMOd

gaping vagina

*fixed

chooch · 10-20-2006, 09:49 AM

Thanks for that perspective Otis and Deevah...i think that is very much a part of what some people felt missing from the original question.

I think that finding personal power within can sometimes be perceived as gender specific but as an example, when i sing i feel feminine...if Timo sang it may make him feel more masculine. It is really how it translates within you and where you connect to yourself, your personal chicka or guy power.

This has got me thinking about where this question may have come from originally. There is someone in my life and when i'm around them, i feel my feminity more. As well, they seem to encourage this search within me to be a stong woman. I believe this is because this person is an integrated being, comfortable with both his fem and masc aspects.

In doing this search, it feels that an awareness has opened up about what an in-touch woman does to feel comfortable and strong within herself. I've been asking myself what makes me feel connected to the "woman in me" and thought i'd check in with Tribe!

ahahh!

Smokey...I love what you shared about your motherhood and where it connects you to this!

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10-19-2006, 04:16 PM	#58
mariazmess TRIBE Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 10,796	my period makes me feel gross and bloated. but i agree with the rest, ms. fit.

10-19-2006, 07:21 PM	#68
OTIS TRIBE Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: WHERE MY IHOP Posts: 33,333	Speaking of cliché’s the idea of feminist power based on the adoption of traditionally “male” qualities is one in and of itself. That kind of thinking is more evident of 1960's reactionary movements and rarely encapsulates the progress of some leading feminist thought today; which is more moderate and is more accepting of traditionally "feminine" qualities. The antiquated way of understanding things like emotional intuition and sensitivity is to consider it in relation to men, in that weakness is only an issue if you make the definition of those qualities contingent on the inclusion of "male" qualities. Some women embrace these as a way of freeing them from this relationship which frees them from the stigma as well. Sorry for the intrusion.

10-19-2006, 07:45 PM	#70
PosTMOd Member Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: Here, there, nowhere, everywhere Posts: 31,970	vagina

10-19-2006, 10:31 PM	#71
MissBlu TRIBE Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Woodlands Posts: 15,694	hmm, my superpowers? well let's see, we'll start with my cute boobs, and finish with my heroic swiffer-wielding abilities... feel free to flll in the blanks

10-20-2006, 09:49 AM	#75
chooch TRIBE Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: living in a wtf haze Posts: 8,743	Thanks for that perspective Otis and Deevah...i think that is very much a part of what some people felt missing from the original question. I think that finding personal power within can sometimes be perceived as gender specific but as an example, when i sing i feel feminine...if Timo sang it may make him feel more masculine. It is really how it translates within you and where you connect to yourself, your personal chicka or guy power. This has got me thinking about where this question may have come from originally. There is someone in my life and when i'm around them, i feel my feminity more. As well, they seem to encourage this search within me to be a stong woman. I believe this is because this person is an integrated being, comfortable with both his fem and masc aspects. In doing this search, it feels that an awareness has opened up about what an in-touch woman does to feel comfortable and strong within herself. I've been asking myself what makes me feel connected to the "woman in me" and thought i'd check in with Tribe! ahahh! Smokey...I love what you shared about your motherhood and where it connects you to this!